Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Respectively Retrospect

Wrote this on Facebook a little while ago, figured I'd put it there. No edit.

If
 you start reading this, I ask that you read it to the end. I’m sure I made some errors in the typing but bear with me. I didn’t edit. Had a group project. 
When I get upset, I feel hot. Like heat in my chest. And the reason why I get so fired up is partially my fault. I expect people to understand why people burn things. Why people destroy what is perceived to be “our” communities. If you didn’t feel safe in your own community, would you feel safe? Quite frankly, a lot of privileged whites have gotten away with a lot of violent behavior, for some type of “revolution” that isn’t perceived as violent, is thrown out of history books, or is even glorified. I’m just gonna pop some off for y’all. The Boston Tea Party, all of Manifest Destiny, Social “unrest” in the Progressive Movement and leading up to & during WWI due to labor unions having their jobs “taken” (This was during the Great Migration and a time where there was severe reform to immigration. Also the red scare thing was popping off. Economic evidence suggests these labor unions had very little effect, if any, on wage increases, but it did keep jobs in the hands of certain “skilled” individuals’ hands. You can guess who benefitted. ), or simply “friendly”, easily pardoned riots following big sporting events. Ooh fancy. 
When I get upset, I feel sick. Like to my stomach. And the reason why I get upset is partially my fault. I expect people to understand what it feels like to be hungry for change. What is the cuisine of America? None of them seem to be natural to the States, and Native Americans are so under-represented that it seems their culture can never be even nearly understood. The one race that was created here (I’m using the term ‘race’ in an attempt to be more widely understood. The concept of race is created. As is gender, but I digress.) & that is the Negro one. Furthermore, I believe Soul Food is the official cuisine of America. Can’t get that anywhere else. I get treated like my history isn’t American History. It’s some mutant history that gets a month out of 12, where we can praise MLK, in what seems to be a plan to make every black person more docile. Riddle me this. When has any movement in America, or of America, ever been done in a non-violent way? Take as much time as you need. 
When I get upset, I feel tied up. Like tongue tied. And the reason I get upset is partially my fault. I expect people to see or understand things that to me are readily apparent. People don’t understand how institutionalized racism works, from the education system, to the economy, and to the dictionary. When dealing with race, I often get a bunch of definitions for things, meanwhile, the definitions for anti-racism and racism are not direct opposites. I don’t know how it all works. No one really does. 
When I get upset, I feel divided. Like in my heart, my spirit, and my soul. And the reason I get upset is not my fault. Sometimes, I disconnect being black from my character or my voice because I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to hold myself back from a possible career or life opportunity. I try to make myself seem less intimidating, and it logically follows such that I must appear less black. When I walk I’m a dark spot in society and I’m dangerous with my hood down. When I walk with my hood up I’m dangerous. I feel divided because people tear me apart from both sides. It’s like one has to choose. I… we have been fighting a war for many, many years. We asked for equity with the civil rights movement. Then we got wiped off the map, but still asked. They asked us to dress in such a way that appeased white America. We did. Then got broken, battered, and arrested in dress clothes, with our “leader” arrested over 30 times and assassinated in the suit you told him to wear. They said don’t talk about it and it’ll fade. We did until the 90’s and late 1980’s. Then things flared up again, and we put on our clothes and marched. The ones you told us to wear. Now we find ourselves with things seemingly worse than ever, because everyone is so blind and lines are so blurred, and it seems the people who have vision are a minority, which consists of a few minorities and even fewer majorities who are determined in fixing the problem. These are the few who actually want to fix things and aren’t infatuated with being a part of a big thing. They want to be a part of THE thing. Now it’s 2015, and I’m pretty tired of asking. In only my 19 years of life. I feel divided because I don’t know what they next step is. The educated really don’t know what. American history tells us that we should be violent, because that’s what white people did when they wanted change, or they wanted to oppose such change. But then again, the master’s tools cannot dismantle the master’s house. With this in mind, peaceful action seems to most probably be the answer for change, but you have to understand that peace never coincided with peace at first. People on the “right” side will get fed up. History books make it seem like the civil rights movement didn’t include violence too, because it did. Somewhat. Just that resistance was smashed. Kinda. I don’t know much about that side. I am a victim of his-story. Let’s wrap this up. 
I am upset. I am angry. I am fed up. I am brilliant. I am confused. I am intelligent, and so are many people that look like me but don’t get the recognition because their intelligence doesn’t measure up to American bars.( If you test a fish on its ability to climb a tree…) I don’t want to say this issue is just about blacks, because it isn’t. The whole model minority thing is real. What’s going on with black people is happening and has happened to Asians, Indians, some Southern Europeans, and all Hispanics. IT’s relevant to all of us. INCLUDING the women of all cultures, because lets be real, they’re pretty oppressed.
But LISTEN. I am a proponent and advocate for peace, and I’ll try to keep it that way. I promise that I’ll try. Remember though, what I’ve been taught through his-story, (Not my community which is victim to his-story) is to be violent. It’s made instinctual through that. We’ll try peace, but we need help. I can promise that we won’t throw the first, second or even third stone. I can’t promise that the struggle will never turn violent, because it’s what we're taught.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Revelations Pt. 1

The Rain is Gone 


      Everyone feels pain. It is something that we all share. No one holds this burden of pain alone, yet in the eyes of many, including myself, the idea of empathy is impossible. No one can truly know with absolute certainty how another person feels. For example, if we lose a loved one, say a brother, how we will or won't hurt because of it is based purely off individual relationship with said person. Saying "I know how you feel, I lost....." only truly helps in the sense of the other person trying to help. That's kinda the extent of it. The First album I am listening to in order to get in the correct mind-state for this post is The Pink Lavalamp by Charles Hamilton. Great Album by a great artist on the comeback!
      My experiences are not equal to those of others. One may think their life is easier or harder than mine, but honestly, their opinion does not matter ( Unless that person is in a position of power of course). I, and many other people on the Earth feel they have ultimate purpose. As a person, I am not ONLY one thing. I am not ONLY a smart person. I am not ONLY an athletic person. I am not ONLY an artistic person. I am not ONLY crazy. I am not ONLY and optimistic person. I am not only any of the single things that makes me what I am. 
     Sure, My major is Economics, but it's only my major of study. I do a host of other things, but my goal I feel in my spirit is to become the greatest teacher I can be. By any reasonable means necessary. I mean, I'll be diversifying bonds like these gentlemen. 

    That is, my fall back at least. I need to see the money side of the world, of which, I have been so blind to. Gratefully, at least seemingly so, I never had to worry about money growing up. I was always able to have shoes on my feet. I didn't HAVE to "work". The financial aspect of life was simple, just like any aspect of life you aren't bred to encounter. 
   College is the most graceful reminder that I am far more creative than any teacher aside from Engineering and English led me to believe (Not that it is their fault, either). The answer to life's problems are almost never clear-cut. The answers to questions in school were more biased than they appeared. I learned how "Black History Month" was/is just a fail-safe celebratory measure which is currently used to marginalize the achievements and contributions of the few goldengirls and goldenboys our history books chose to cover. Some of the greatest minds of the Civil Right movement, Daisy Bates, Ella Baker, Bobby Seale, Dorothy Height, Rosa Parks ACTUAL STORY, Huey Newton and his death, the Black Panthers Party's influence on gun laws and their philanthropic actions, Tommie Smith, John Carlos, Daniel Hale Williams, W.E.B. DeBois, the list goes on and on. As the years pass, BHM becomes more about Dr. King's advancements being unparalleled. Granted, the accomplishments of him AND his camp were AMAZING. They will not be easily replicated, due to ignorance amongst the black community, which isn't all its fault, and covert feelings of racism, making increasingly difficult to draw sympathy from bystanders who are unaware of the things POC experience in forms that are not physical.(job opportunity, pulled over for being black, "weird vibes" in rooms, being looked at funny in "white" parties, peoples' high expectations of you in athletics and low expectations of you in classrooms, not being seen as attractive in a culture that IDOLIZES your actions,...) Covert Racism or "Racism 2.0" is a beast. A beast which will not easy be tamed. Dr. King's camp's accomplishments are no insurmountable. The feats are a mountains set forth by elders, which were built to be topped. A record created to be broken by greater feet, not swept under the rug. 

Go Head Switch the Style Up So if They Hate then let em Hate

& Watch the Money Pile Up


     okay. This is a completely new topic and could be it's own post. Sometimes you realize you messed up. It's not too hard, but in the same token, it  is not easy either. When it comes to your love, what your soul, hormones, and emotions desire, it's very easy to go dumb. You can know exactly what the other person is thinking, can be thinking the same thing, yet make no action. Here's a video "Language as the Window into Human Nature" which conveys my point to a T. I would advise watching the whole video, since it all ties into each other, but my point starts at 5:45
      Although I will go over this point much deeper, on the intimate level, men and women are much more similar than we would like to believe, and some studies have even shown that HUMAN libido is bisexual. interesting. It's unproven, but something to think about. Back to topic. 
     Being blunt solves a lot of problems, but it may just create the same amount that it solves. Hinting at things may allow a person to see things without the aggression associated with confrontation, or asserting yourself, or making a move( take that as you see fit). I am sure most guys have been in situations where they were oblivious to a girl wanting them, while the feeling is mutual, you didn't know. Basically, you just dun goofed and you don't know she'll again have the courage to put her intentions out as far.
And again, it could be weird to talk about. The barrier of language. Though I used a heterosexual example, the case does not necessarily have to be that. Yeah. The leap of faith is a reoccurring theme in my life. I know very soon in my life there will come a time where I will have to jump, and find a way to a solid surface. I've never been brought up in a creative environment, but that is simply how I am. Every time I don't jump when I know I should, I fall on my back. I am tired of falling on my back. I will conquer my chains. I don't believe everything I say for my future (everything being my dreams), but I wish I did. I try to stay optimistic, and I hope my thoughts follow so

Dreams are just loose change in your pockets; how much worth they have is up to you. 
-Wendell Thomas III 

A Novel Idea

     I started writing a book a long time ago, as mentioned in a previous blog post. The premise and background for it is amazing. Like Susanne Collins,  Rick Riordan, James Patterson, George R. R. Martin, J. K. Rowling good. Like actually. The end is in sight. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light at the end of a tunnel is, in my opinion, scarier than the tunnel itself, because, what is it exactly at the end of the tunnel? Sure the tunnel is dark, but you've come to deal with the darkness. The darkness is what you know. Who is to say I will adjust better to the light? Anyway, it's difficult to create dynamic characters in any story, so ADMIRE any creator who can create a LOGICAL evolution of a character. From me, it requires using characteristics of people I know. Some of these characteristics being the boiled down essences of the less "shiny" parts of my closest friends' and my personalities. It's driving me some sort of crazy. I'm incorporating satire in the book, so there will be themes alluding to the real world. Be prepared for a challenge. There is always a rhyme and reason. Nothing is done for none. This series is coming with full force. 

The Red King Kong

     I intend on directing, or even co-directing cinematic projects, in the future. I enjoy challenging society. As stated in Chris Rock's "Top Five", "It's never just a book... it's never just a movie.". The things that I do are never just done. There is and will forever always be a rhyme and a reason. 
     King Kong is black, but a big red beast banging on the side of the Willis Tower would take people by surprise. Sure, it's an enemy, but surprising that it isn't black.  No matter what happens in life will there always be a "beast" that needs to be tamed, or misunderstood. We tend to ostracize these beasts by just that nomenclature. 

Time Moves So Slowly

      My ideas for my musical project are finally coming together in full-form. Although the financial aspects of my life are not where I want them to be, by a longshot (jaja), I will eventually be able to afford the experiences I will display and create. I am excited. Just the thing is, I don't have 500 ones to rub together to do what I gotsta do. Nonetheless, I have faith in myself and my abilities. 
      Poetry reads nice, and slam poetry is exciting and potent, but the audience just is not big enough for me. My big mouth is just too big. I need more. There is always a rhyme and reason. Nothing is as simple as it appears. Last musical project for this post is Dare Iz A Darkside by Redman. 


My life's an open book, - -for flaps - -, you can read it in the borders


Even Stevens - - Spielberg visualizes  horrors




Cadavers splash, slap mortars to morgues

 






Mind & brain murder,
Shell hoarder,
for when these politics...--drop the gas burden.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Unus ad Infinitum

"Originality"

      Everyone is entitled to their lifestyles. This includes, but is not limited to, their choices in mates, décor, dress fashion, musical taste, palate, and lifestyle. That doesn't mean people won't judge you for it. People are coded to judge. To those religious folk, we are created to be in God's image, correct. Does God judge? To those not religious, I think it follows that you are somewhat determinist, and understand that people are results of their past experiences and environments. I have yet to see a society that does not just based on the aforementioned choices that decode our personality. I am getting beside the point.

I think Aaliyah is overrated.

      I do. It is my humble opinion. I have listened to all of her music, and some would place her upon the apex in her field. She's not in my top 7 hip-hop/ R&B females of all time.

Before I have people wanting to fight me I'll bring this into the point of the piece. I promise. (Check the alliteration, fam)

      Ironically, I decided to play One in a Million x Aaliyah to get me in the mood for this post. I'm not saying she isn't a good musician, but I do understand the effects of death on art. Music is art. I do not find it to be coincidence that Tupac and Biggie are dead, yet they are the "Kings of Hip-Hop", a title which I do not believe either of them necessarily deserves. I fall into the whole two Kings paradigm, but I think that may be because I was born more into the hip hop culture over the R&B one.  If Jay Z died tomorrow, in three years, I believe people would then INDISPUTABLELY take him #1. You don't have to believe me, just think about it. Either way, all 4 artists are extremely skilled, and were always themselves. They never tried to be different. They just tried to be themselves.

Deebo is coming, put your chain away.

Figuratively, anyway.

Seriously though  put your "Stuff" in the drawer.

#ButIWouldTuckItTho...#JKItsInTheDrawer
#BMade
#IfYouTuckYouGetSnuck
#WhenHeHereImmaBeQuietButWhenHeLeaveImmaBeShiningAgain

      So you're cruising down the street in your 6-4. Jockin the blips, slappin the stros... And you see someone who has the same shirt on. Some people will say... he has the same shirt I do OMG OMG I can't wear this shirt anymore.  NO NO NO. That's so silly. Why not compliment the person with similar tastes. A similar palate, if you will. Something similar to you. I think this is part of the reason people complain about having no friends... Because you talk to people who don't shop where you shop. In a consumer driven society, having similar customer tastes is big. This is an exaggeration, but my point is clear nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with having similarities. Your friends are supposed to be like you. People are going to judge you based off of your friends because of the old "birds of a feather...", right or wrong. I don't see society changing in that aspect ANY time soon. Get used to it, world-stopper. Being yourself means people will be like you. Trying to be something you are not ALSO includes TRYING to be different.
     Too often, people TRY to be different. This is something I see in my generation, because it is the one I am growing up in. I don't fall into the philosophy that this generation is so lost. LEAVE MY GENERATION ALONE. we're doing so much better than the last ones that got us in this mess. DONT LISTEN TO OLD PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAY EVERYTHING IS SO BAD. THEY INVENTED TWERKING. Old people love to say "Nothing new is under the sun" after we do something positive or that sounds good " i.e. a well flipped Isley Brothers sample or a socially conscious rapper, but are the first ones to say they don't know where we learned our bad habits. WE LEARNED THOSE FROM THEM. If you find a problem with your generation, do something to NOT be a part of the problem. If you do nothing, YOU ARE A PART OF THE PROBLEM. Accept responsibility. I am partially responsible for world hunger; I have done nothing to stop it. I am partially responsible for sexism in other nations; I have done nothing to stop it. A lot of the Civil Rights Movement was run my the YOUTH. Rebellions, uprising, wars, and revolutions are fought by the YOUng. Why not fight for a cause you believe in? Why not fight for control of your own brain?
     Also, if there is anything you want to be better yourself, do it today. Don't let these old people or your peers tell you that you can't do it. Nothing is new under the sun, and doubters are no different. Life is too short for you to be living someone else's dream, especially your parents' dreams.  There is only one you, so if you want something for yourself, a dream, a goal, a star, the only person who is going to be able to reach it for you is you.





 
Swimming in a pool of knowledge, do I dare to take a dip,




                                   Acid tabs to tongue tips, Black & white world till it prints,
 
 
 
 
When I'm high, I just glide, I'll just be a blimp. The lift won't end amicable, the fall may need a miracle, Till the tables turn, the world's my earth, I'm invincible.